Moral in Wonderland
by egeis87
Summary: The unbelievable adventures of Moral in Wonderland or in the Twlight Zone... There are also Totoros.
1. Chapter 1

**Moral in Wonderland**

Word count: 586

Warnings: Pure crack.

Rating: T

Once upon a time lived a particular human. He had a strange sense of kindness. The kindness, which wanted to create equality in the world, and gave coats to little boys in rainy weather, but collected brains in jars, found fun in killing unworthy people and experimented creating super powers.

The man possessed a long white mane, rivalling that of the famous Prince of Mirkwood, amethyst red eyes shiny with unappalled great ambitions and the sharp teeth of a shark. Perhaps some of his relatives were elves, and he had sharks as cousins twice removed.

Ah, this mystery remains unsolved to today!

Nonetheless our reluctant hero saw a hurrying white rabbit with a pocket-watch /No the rabbit isn't secretly a timelord this time!/, or the better word would be a white rabbit-boy, unexpectedly resembling the milk of human kindness, the most worthy human, who ever walked on Earth!

No it isn't Mother Theresa! No the Spaghetti Monster doesn't count! No Buddha or George Carlin either!

It was Nice-kun himself!

Moral's heart began to beat faster from the sight.

"Oh, shit! I'm so late! I'm ultra-super late!" screamed rabbit-Nice with a bored face idiotically. Hmm, or was it passive-aggressively nonchalant?

It wasn't important because Nice-kun decided to bend to law of psychics! Yes, we are talking of the psychics of Newton! No, string-theory, quarks or white holes necessary! But just in case press the speed dial to Stephen Hawking, if you are unsure to continue, or if you want to listen to fascinating science.

The bandaged genius walked through the glass of display, which became swirly and portal like.

Did the Professor just witness Nice-kun's powers evolving?

"Wait for me, Nice-kun!" Moral shouted excitedly and followed suit faithfully into the fray.

All of sudden Moral's elegant white dress shirt, his broody badass coat, shiny leather-pants and killer military boots vanished. Only his beloved golden revolver remained!

Oh, the irony! The shark teethed man thought, and found himself in a baby-blue Victorian dress, slightly steampunky and with matching stilettos. Something felt off, on the top of his head a big blue silk ribbon sat.

Because it was Moral, he even rocked this visage!

Did he became Alice of Wonderland? He even chased the mythical white rabbit alias Nice-kun!

But more importantly, where had Nice-kun disappeared to?

Moral had no time to ponder, because he was falling down through a woodsy tunnel. He landed on something big and fluffy, which/who/it moved his chest, breathing in slowly and peacefully. The large animal had greyish coat, an oater's tail, and a big round belly with white fur. On his stomach lay brown-greyish parachute like marks. His face was round, something catish with ears akin to a rabbit.

The animal blinked sleepily and yawned. Thanks to his yawning the air moved like a mini tornado resulting in the professor's perfectly styled hair becoming wind-blown and messy. Then the big creature made a strange noise, which sounded like a question.

"Totoro?"

"You are perfect!" Moral marveled at the animal. Maybe there were other perfect beings sans his headphone wearing love! He hugged the Totoro.

How could he make more of him! Cloning? Or were female Totoros lurking somewhere?

As an answer a small white ghost appeared, and its features seemed similar to Totoro.

"How cute!" stated Moral, no he wasn't fangasming, he was above of fangasming!

Well, he was Moral anyway!

And they lived happily after eating chocolates, and creating an awesome band with care-bears.

**THE END OR NOT REALLY**

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Moral in Wonderland**

**PART TWO -The Great Escape**

_by egeis87_

* * *

Moral had a hunch that he was forgetting something crucial.

"OH MY, NICE-KUUUUUNNNN!" he shrieked in the microphone.

The band practice halted.

"Are you alright, Moral-bear?" asked Cheer Bear with worry in her voice.

"How silly of me!" Moral muttered with a depressed dark aura, and then suddenly like a zombie coming back to life, his eyes shone with scary light, like a madman possessed.

Cheer Bear's pink fur stood up instinctively; while her paws landed on the keyboard.

Tenderheart Bear removed the guitar from his neck, and hugged Moral-bear to cheer him up.

Perhaps a love shower could help, and if the magical tummy-rays wouldn't work, but why wouldn't they; then they could summon a team of magical boys.

There were times when a befriending a pink wombat on Facebook had charming points.

His smartphone beeped, a green hedgehog just sent him a friend's request.

Social networking is really important, kids!

But let's just get back to Moral and co.

"Totoro?" queried the large furball behind the drums. The Totoro then stood up and hugged Tenderheart Bear and Moral, while the small Totoros floated around them.

"You are crushing me!" croaked Tenderheart Bear.

"To-to-ro!" in Totoro's language it meant Sorry!

So the Totoro let go of them, while the orange carebear gulped air greedily.

Grumpy Bear rolled his eyes from the sight. Why couldn't he tinker instead?

"Yes, never felt better!" replied Moral with starry eyes and shoujo sparkling. 'I'm coming, my love!"

"See, what was the big deal about? Everyone can have a bad day, and obviously Sharky is in love!" commented Grumpy Bear with a long suffering sigh.

"Sorry, Bears and Totoros! But I have to find my honey-bunny!" Moral cried tears of sadness, saying goodbye.

* * *

Totoro thought better of it, and offered assistance.

So as a result Moral was soaring in the skies on the back of Totoro, who made huge jumps.

They had a power boost thanks to Wish Bear.

This was their means of transport.

They encountered a strange castle made of sweets (pancakes, truffles, short-cakes, chocolates and every sweet imaginable).

In response Moral's and the Totoros stomach rumbled.

It was an impolite thing to eat a building, so they opened the heavy door of mooncakes.

A huge tray of Belgian chocolates were left on the corridor, unattended. And it was Moral's favorite brand!

Perchance to say, eating some pieces wouldn't hurt a fly, would it?

He was a man of honor after all, so he would gladly compensate this with his help, by giving out Minimums for the service!

So he bit into a large piece for brandy flavored bonbon.

Its texture was perfect, melty and warm, and the alcohol burned his tongue slightly.

But wait just a minute? Was it safe for his companions to eat chocolate? Wouldn't they get sick from it?

Moral liked to take risks, but also cherished his dear friends.

Mini-Totoro beat him to it, eating some milk-chocolate and giving off the expression of utter bliss.

* * *

Out of the blue some human resembling thing appeared, it was skin and bone, and bald, had a nail in his head, and a big flanking tongue with a piercing.

"Suzuki, hurry up! The queen is hungry!" shouted some guy with glasses, wearing a headband, hair styled like little devil horns, reminding Moral of Nice partner, Murasaki.

"Yes, Mamiya!" replied the skeleton man shaking. "Ah, intruders!" screamed Mr. Piercing high-pitched.

"Summon the ginger-bread man, Suzuki!" Mamiya ordered impatiently.

"Coooommmmmmmmmmmeeee foooooooooorwarrrrddd!" Suzuki shuttered.

As a result Momoka materialized, wearing her extravagant get-up.

"I said the ginger-bread man, not the BITCH!" Mamiya answered with a huff.

"Hey, Moral long times no see! Who are your furry friends?" Momoka greeted kissing Moral's cheeks and amusingly eyeing the Totoros.

"They are not your playthings, bad Momoka!" Moral reacted strictly.

"You are such spoil-sport!" Momoka pouted. "It's no import, as the cunning head bitch/ sugar momma it's my responsibility to bring you to our dear Queen of Hearts."

* * *

Momoka led the professor's party to the throne room.

On the throne sat Inspector Art, wearing a golden crown, a tattered red cape, a black tank-top, grey jeans and black boots; munching dangos with a stupidly happy face.

Did the little transparent fucker think he was more fashionable than Moral?

He totally stole the philanthropist's bad-boy style!

"Don't tell me you are the Queen of Hearts, Mr. Superintendent?" giggled Moral bitchely, while looking at the lilac haired man with eyes full of pity.

"I prefer to call myself King of the Fangirls! According the character polls I'm the most popular. So I can do questionable things and eat my pancakes too." Art pleasantly told him and added as a bonus, gesturing with his fingers. "For example I could order your head cut-off!"

"You heard his majesty's order! Off with his head!" stated goat-chin with a blue scarf; he kinda resembled an upcoming Japanese swimmer. Yamazaki something, ah Yamazaki Sousuke-san!

But suddenly with an explosion a big dust cloud descended.

Something meowed loudly and confidently.

A cat-bus flew toward the professor's group, therefore Moral, and the Totoros managed to get away.

Unfortunately for the sharked teethed man, he missed, that a mecha teleported in the throne room.

Its hatch opened, revealing Rabbit-Nice-kun in its cockpit, wearing a sexy, tight-fit leather outfit.

The Sonic Minimum User had a dazzling smile on his face.

"Yo Art, long time no see!" he said, while stretching out his hand invitingly.

"And who would you be?" asked the Stormy-lilac Eyed Frozen Hearted Queen of Hearts/King of Fangirls taking a bite of a chocolate.

* * *

"Mhmm, it's strangely fluffy here! Sickeningly adorable, if you ask me!" commented Momoka, while finding some invisible dirt in her perfectly manicured nails.

"Momoka, what are you doing here?" asked Moral not very surprised.

_Who wouldn't want to leave that dirty, corrupt place? At least the chocolate was excellent, but that's not the point._

"Ah, you know me, never satisfied for long! Boredom always gets me! We were heading for a fairy tale ending. Cursed queens, mechas, intrigue and loves squares! That wasn't my style anymore. I like tears, blood and havoc, and pushing people to the extremes!" Momoka replied in an almost monologueish way.

"Sorry, what did you say?" responded Moral, finger stuck in his left ear, then blowing away some sticky earwax.

"Muh, Moral, you're so cruel! But I'm digging your style!" answered Momoka faux-hurt, and blowing a kiss in the white haired man's direction. "By the way, where are we heading?"

"Oh, bloody hell!" Moral stated.

"Too-too-rooooooooo!"

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	3. Chapter 3

**PART 3**

**It's important to have a good impact on others**

* * *

"Service! Service!" panted a happy go-lucky panda, rolling around, then playing with the swings and running.

"Mama, look at the pandas, so cute!" pointed an excited child.

Something crashed nearby.

"What was that?" asked Full-time Panda, startled.

"Oh, that was just my stomach growling, Mr. Full-time Panda." Panda-kun answered airily.

A loud meow echoed.

"I've a feeling, that it's somewhat more complicated" Sweatdropped Full-time Panda.

* * *

The zoo's new reptilian house was a wreck.

Calm down readers, no animal cruelty took place! The new building wasn't inhabited yet!

But its Facebook status changed from soon to be opened to demolished.

Among the bricks and the rubble a huge dragon laid knocked out.

At the feet of the dragon a dango eating blonde beauty was busily accusing her lazy partner.

"It's this fiend's fault. He stole me from my sleep, and ravishes me day and night. But not only does he daily rape me, he also enjoys the company of children and animals, the BEAST!"

"Oy, Ferris! Stop fooling around!" The black haired mage screeched, than sighed.

"I don't think we're still in our world" He stated, as his black gaze gained a vermillion shade. Five pointed stars glowed in his eyes, analyzing the residual magic particles in the air.

In a small distance a large feline like shape was grunting in obvious discomfort. He had a big pulsating protrusion on his head, and small cuts littered on his torso.

"Not to disturb your cutesy comedian act! But our cat-bus is wounded after colliding with the head of your giant lizard. The least you could do is producing some magical cloak or spell thingy to make us all invisible?" Momoka cleared her throat, her perfect nails drumming impatiently.

"Well, it doesn't exactly work like that…" Ryner tried to explain.

"Why the politeness dear, I'll just pick their brains out for harming our fluffy friend!" Moral flashed his shark-teeth.

He pointed his beloved golden revolver at the fantasy protags. But Ferris slashed the gun in half with her awesome god-eater sword.

Then the unsmiling goddess stuffed Moral's mouth full with grade-A dango.

"Dango makes everything better! See, the Great Dango God smiled upon you." she preached.

Moral's face morphed into utter bliss.

"This is truly something magnificent."

"I told you so." Ferris was proudly puffing out her chest.

Her melodious voice made a strange contrast with her blank face.

"Does this happen often?" Momoka sounded one quarter amused, three quarter bored.

"Every damn time." The Alpha Stigma bearer sighed, barely dodging Ferris sword, aimed for his head.

"Ah, didn't see you there" The blonde dead-panned.

"Wah, as I said the Dango God is totally awesome, right? Right?" Ryner was sweeting.

Unhappy voices neared.

Suddenly the S/M play was put on-hold. A mysterious portal swallowed the bickering duo alongside the ruined building and the unconscious dragon.

"Fat good they helped us." Momoka rolled her eyes as the Mini Totoros created thick mist to shield Team Moral.

Totoro did a strange jumping ritual, working his healing magic. The cat-bus purred gratefully.

"Try some dango, will you?" Moral suggested.

"Trying to convert me to your new religion?" Momoka shot back.

"Why my BFF, the only thing I believe is in Nice-kun!" Moral eyes sparkled.

* * *

"What did you do to Art?" pointed a pissed-off Nice at goat-chin. Nice's long leather jacket billowed, as he put his headphones on, ready to snap his fingers.

"Me?" played the innocent Ishigami.

"Why, I would sniff our Messiah's boxers, imagining him naked under me as I would pleasure…" Ishigami trolled.

"Stop giving me mental images!" drawled Art, messaging his temples.

"Nah, just kidding! I only take pictures of him and sale it to the fangirls? The one in the pond was especially popular!"

"You see his majesty's wellbeing is one of my top-priorities. And we need constant income to afford such sweet life-style." smiled Ishigami, the uncrowned king of scarfs.

Rabbit-kun's imagination went too far. Art licked his Popsicle erotically, juice dripping from his lips. Art bent down in a cat maid costume. He could clearly see Art being forced into embarrassing and compromising situations.

"Can I see those pictures?" He scratched his bandages.

"This is the one with the crossed legs and the long pipe in the flimsy kimono. This the one in the bed with his stomach exposed. This is the rock star one, and that's the Rheagar Targeryen cosplay. And that's the top seller, the wet chested Darcy pose in the pond," Ishigami explained.

"I want the one, where he is outstretching his hands and rain droplets are falling from his clothes, and the maid one, please!" Nice requested.

"That will be 2000 yen" Ishigami stated.

"I only have 500 yen" Nice whined.

"No pictures for you, then!" Ishigami batted the rabbit's paw away.

"Where were we? So you basically kidnapped my" pause "friend, to have wicked things done to him?" Nice lunged at Mr. Boiler, channeling animalistic fury.

"Hello, I'm still here!" reminded them Art, as he clonked both of them on their head with a ceramic pan.

"Do I look like some damsel in distress?" he threw his question at no one particular.

"Sometimes you look like a cute wounded animal, and I would so hug you. But it's embarrassing, so I try to help and open my big mouth instead, and you usually become pretty angry. Besides you have mean punches." The rabbit touched his bump.

"Yes, totally like those cute woodland critters from that Canadian show" Ishigami added, kissing the lilac haired man's hand.

"Did you just compare me to Satan?" Art took the hand away, and wiped it with a towel.

"Well, Lucifer was once the most beautiful angel, if it helps." Suzuki shuttered from the corner.

"And you're always reading those creepy titled and vague books in your free time. It gives off the impression of planning world domination or disembowelment." Mamiya supplemented.

"Really?" asked Art, eyes huge and teary, sitting with a hunched back. Then an unholy light shone from his eyes, transforming one into red and other to yellow color.

He stood up straight.

"What a laughable attempt. You should just stay where you are, groveling at my feet." The lilac haired man preceded to ankle-break them with his magic basketball.

He helped up Rabbit-Nice.

"Become my new phantom sixth man, Senpai! And I will show you a new world." not quite Art offered.

* * *

"I wish to apply as part-time shark." Moral stated with a straight face.

"He got the teeth going for that." Zoo-keeper Kirino-san grimaced.

"How well can you hold your breath under water?" Zoo-keeper Handa-san queried.

"Approximately 15-20 minutes." Moral smiled.

"Unfortunately, that won't cut it." Handa-san concluded.

"Hello, Moral-bear! I got jobs for us!" Momoka claimed, showing-off her maid costume.

"Isn't Momo-chan adorbs? Isn't Momo-chan great, ~ne?"

The Professor made a derp face.

"Meanie!" Momoka stuck out her pink tongue.

"I also have a sexy butler outfit stashed just for you!" she winked.

"What have you dragged me into?" Moral moaned and face palmed, and moaned more.

"Better suit up bitch, 'cause we'll be waiters of Shirokuma Café." Momoka sing-songed.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	4. Chapter 4

**PART 4 – Happy Endings**

* * *

"What's your order?" Moral asked in a pleasant voice.

Inwards he was seeking entertainment, a.k.a. plotting misery and mayhem, a.k.a. creating equality.

"The usual" Penguin replied curtly.

He shouldn't have opened his mouth, because his voice evoked disappointment and murderous feelings.

"Annoying" The professor clicked his teeth.

Our sharky friend was ready to stab the giant fat bird.

Fortunately luck seemed on Mr. Penguin's side, because Momoka appeared with coffee mocha in tow.

"Here you go." She answered with a Stepford smile.

Flower girl signaled Moral to put his fucking machete away before the guests and the boss could notice it.

Shoot! A very elegant man in his forties, whose tie was worth the fucking establishment, detected the happenings.

His lips turned upwards.

"Hannibal, I know that smile!" Will Graham, ex-FBI profiler/empath/murder husband warned his other half.

"I'm just enjoying the pleasantries of this fine café."

The refined Lithuanian sipped his Chianti wine.

"You want to invite new friends over for dinner?" Will queried, enjoying his panda parfait.

"You know me as well as yourself. I recently acquired new recipe" Hannibal played with his mongoose's curls.

"But for today my only wish is to worship you, beloved." He stated with his bedroom voice.

"You better, those brain splatters were a bitch to get out of the Persian rug last time" Will Graham scolded half-heartedly.

* * *

"What a devoted and lovely couple, I hope that Nice-kun and I will be similar." Moral expressed his wish.

"I've a feeling that we were spared from something bloody and gruesome" Momoka's spider senses were in alert.

Suddenly sparkles appeared in the air, the cuteness was overbearing. Panda-kun has arrived.

"Hello, Panda-kun! What can I bring you today?" Moral's face had a childish glee. He looked like he was in seventh haven.

"Stupid attention stealing monochrome fuzball! Stupid Moral, muh!" The rich bitch pouted.

Maybe Moral was not only Nice-sexual, but Panda-sexual too? Momoka wondered.

"You seem down, Momoka" Polar Bear tried to cheer her up.

"It's nothing that some back-stabbing and virgin-tears won't solve!" Flower girl replied.

"Scary - scary! Why don't you chill and try out our new Polar Bear pizza?" Polar Bear suggested.

"You're pretty understanding, Boss!" Momoka confessed, taking a bite of pizza.

It was excellent as expected.

"No wonder, you're so pleased. It's one of Totoro's new creations, after all" Polar Bear commented.

"Totoro made this?" Momoka raised her eyebrows.

"He's an unparalleled genius in the kitchen. Besides he learned that his precious friend adores Italian cuisine." Polar Bear explained.

"Well, Moral could always kill for a good gluten-free pizza." Momoka admitted. "It makes his skin more translucent."

* * *

"So you are in love with me?" Nice asked his white rabbit ears twitching, cola in his hands.

"What I feel for you, Nice-kun is something so deep and encompassing, it's beyond words." Moral gushed, while both Art and Momoka were making gagging sounds in the background.

"Love would be such a cheap word for it." The shark teethed professor finished.

Totoro was confused.

Love is love, isn't it?

"~Okay." said the Sonic Minimum User, giving some documents to Moral.

"What's the meaning of this?" Now Moral seemed to be the lost one.

"It's the application documents of joining my happy harem." Nice explained in a dead-pan voice.

"I already have a morally inconsistent pretty boy, a housewife tsundere trying to best me, and a cute, big eater kuudere girl with tragic back story. But I don't have a devoted yandere yet" he scratched his bandages in thought.

Moral eyes were downcast. "I promised my virginity to my husband." he shuttered.

"Ah, sorry to hear that! I'm pretty much for polygamy. You know rabbits have the urges to procreate" The brunette sighed, than lifted Moral's chin up coyly.

"Well, if you don't want those Thursdays, I'll have a wonderful foursome instead."

_Say no, and another opportunity can escape you. Say yes, and eliminate the competition, prove Nice-kun, than I'm the one._ Moral contemplated.

"Wait, Nice-kun! I want to be yours!"

Cue to romantic music and Moral throwing himself Scarlet O'Hara-esque into Nice' arms.

"Can I…?" Moral begins, but is interrupted by Nice.

"No, you can't kill my other honey bunnies."

"Can I…?" Moral tries again.

"No, you can't make them kill each other." the speedster chides.

"Typical" Art mutters, taking out the knife from his back, that Moral throw at him, clinging to Nice.

Momoka is munching on some caramel popcorn and offers some to the superintendent.

"He is a yandere after all."

* * *

The birds were chirping. The temperature was mild and pleasant. Light playfully shone in the room. A pink pajama and cute sleeping hat wearing white haired man stirred next to his Nice plushie. Moral stretched his limbs, what an amazing dream! He felt energized and refreshed.

His plans were undisturbed, riots were happening all over the town. The numbers of Minimum Users rapidly grew, and squished the unworthy. There were cracks in the unequal world. He had the Forbidden Minimum in his hands and he could end his most important person's loneliness. What a wonderful time to be alive!

"Finally the day has come to meet, Nice-kun!" He stated happily.

**THE END**


End file.
